New Years Resolutions 2015

I have never been big on New Years Resolutions. In fact, there are a lot of things about the American New years that I do not understand. I mean, really, what is the point of watching a ball drop. That is what everybody (okay, not everyone but a lot of people I know) looks forward to on New Year's Eve. It doesn't even drop fast,or explode. It is very anti-climactic in it's slowly dropping, color changing that I get way too bored and I don't see what the hype is about. If anyone can explain this American Tradition,to me, please...leave a comment because I truly don't understand.

Although I do not understand the whole, ball dropping thing. I do like that New Year's drives people to make goals to better themselves in some way or another. I think that it is important to have goals and so I made a small list of ways that I would like to improve.

1. I would like to be a better wife. I want to communicate better with my husband and show himthat I love him in a way that he understands. Our "love languages" are just so different but I really want to try hard to show him I love him. We don't see each other much since I have started working, which only means that I need to work harder at communicating.

2. I want to be a better sister to my brother-in-law,sister-in-law and brother. Most of this has to do with communication, sending letters,emails and actually getting gifts out on time. My sister-in-law is not at home and I have neglected talking with her because I didn't know what to say about some of the decsisions she has made for herself. My brother and I don't really talk much and even though I have tried, I know that I have not tried hard enough.

3. I want to be a better aunt to my niece and nephew. This means being a part of their life, somehow and getting gifts out on time.

4. Communicating better with my family. I am terrible about not sending e-mails or calling my family. Not because I don't like them and being busy isn't an excuse. I have actually written on my calendar a sort of schedule to get me started with e-mailing my family and keeping in touch. Most of my family is out of state and the closest family is a few hours away, so frequent visits are not always an option.

5. I would like to read more. I would like to read more professional literature so that I can stay caught up in education.

I think that these goals are a good start. I didn't do it just because of New Years but I did need to start making some goals. The big trend seems to be communication.  I made sure to specify how I know I have reached these goals because things like "Lose weight" doesn't have a number so if that was my goal and I lost two pounds, I would have reached it. I find that it is better to be sepecific in goals.

What are some of your New Year's Resolutions or goals?  Please, feel free to comment below.

The "Husband Interview"

Last night, my husband and had a little chat. It was more like coming to terms with the fact that we are both so busy trying to make a life for our family that we forget to make time for US. And the US is a very important thing in marriage. We don't quite seem to be on the same page anymore and we both understand that a wedding doesn't make a marriage. The people who are in the marriage (the bride and groom) do.

Love isn't a feeling or a noun, it is a verb. An action word. A word that needs another verb, communication. Which is a word that we feel we have been lacking in the bustle of life.

So, my solution? Or the start of it, was to create a "Husband Interview" while he was sleeping. I wrote down all of my questions and asked that he write or type his answers so I can read them and we might be able to talk about them.

Here are my questions:

1. What are your goals?
2. What are the top 3 things that you like about yourself?
3. What are 3 things that would change about yourself?
4. How do you feel about our marriage?
5. What can I do to be a better wife?
6. When do you feel happiest? Angriest? Most loved?

And then a quick think "A few of your favorite things"
Book
Movie
Actor
Actress
Quote
Vehicle model
Destination
Animal (domestic and wild)
Color
Flower
Board Game
Hobby/Pass time
Name (Boy and Girl)
Food/Meal
Number, why?
Season
Holiday
Memory

_____________

I also invited him to create questions for me so that I can answer them. I wanted us to write them down so that I can keep them as a refection and that way I don't mishear anything he says. I intend to give the first six questions to him, every year, at least once. Because I really do want to be a good wife and I don't think I can do that when I don't know his goals or how I can improve.

Communication doesn't always have to be by mouth. Sometimes, it is easier when it is written because you can't mishear and the words are in front of you so you can talk about it.

If you have thoughts or comments, I invite you to post them below. What do you do to keep the communication open with your spouse or significant other?

Working mother fears..

It seems that the number one question for any newly wedded couple is “So, when are you having kids?” I understand that children are the light of the future and a joy, as well as an experience to have. I think that many, if not all, married couples want to have children at some point, in their life but I don’t think that we all agree that there “is no time like the present”.

My husband and I have been married for a little over a year and we are constantly hearing the question from family and friends. More recently, we have begun to talk about parenting methods and wanting to have kids. The topic of conversation usually arises when we see a cute child in the store or at the park. Our hearts immediately melt and we want nothing more than to have kids. There are a few small problems that I find.

1.      He wants kids and he wants them now. Don’t get me wrong, I want kids and I love the idea of having little feet pattering down the hall. But, I’m a little more practical thinking.

2.      I want to have a more stable job before we start having kids. Right now, I work at a fast food restaurant that does not provide health insurance, much less maternity leave. Within the next few months, I hope to have everything in line for a teaching job.

3.      I don’t think I’m ready, even though I know he is.

I’ve read a few things on the internet and in a few books that don’t calm my fears.  I am the kind of person who needs to know what to “expect when expecting”. I don’t like surprises. I look up what the doctor might do before I go in for an appointment. I hate surprises! So, I’ve done some reading.

What I read, helps a bit. I’m still nervous and what not but my nerves and fears come from something that I can’t find on the internet or in a book. I know all about the swelling that happens ALL over your body. Your feet swell, arms, legs, butt, chest, belly…everything swells and I understand some of the reasons behind the why of all of that happening. I am not comfortable with doctors, much less doctors being THAT close to my anatomy. I have resolved that I can get over it rather quickly and rant for an hour afterwards and say that I hate my doctor when I know that I’m the one that made the appointment and she is just doing her job. I know that I will need a new wardrobe and that during pregnancy, I will probably end up getting a shot, I probably won’t be paralyzed and I will most positively make a mess everywhere but I don’t need to worry because everyone does.

I know that by the end of pregnancy, I probably would not be able to see my toes enough to paint them and I will have nine months of agitating my husband because he probably won’t let me go for runs, or lift boxes, groceries and the like. I am very much independent but I hope that I will welcome his help, when the time comes.

What I am having the hardest time what happens after my nine months of bonding with the tiny humanoid mix of my genes and his. When everything is said and done and we are holding a baby boy or girl. Hopefully, a healthy one.

I worry about my parenting, his parenting and work. You see, we have talked a lot. Talking is good in any relationship so we do it quite a bit. Sometimes it is loud but that is a whole nother ballgame. We talk a lot about the future. He wants to be a stay at home dad and I’m going to teach. That is what we decided and I am okay with it. I like the idea that one of us will be home for the kids. There is just one thing that branches off into a million other fears for me.

What if our kids hate me because I work? What if I miss everything and they like him better because he his home making meals for them, playing with them and being there for them? How can I be there when they fall if I am at work? I am so afraid that I am going to miss their first word, first steps and their first smile because I will be at work but not to worry, HE will be home with our children 24/7.

I will be in a classroom of my own, teaching children that belong to someone else. This is what I have always wanted to do, but I didn’t even consider how that would work with children of my own. He thinks I’m a superhero that saves the world and can do anything, but I’m not THAT good.

I will wake up, go teach until 4, come home and help him feed our children dinner while he talks about everything THEY did while I was absent. Then, I will help them get ready for bed and watch them as they sleep, only to wake up the next day and do it again. On week days, I will be a mother for a few short hours on weekends, I hope that I would be a good mother.

I will have nine months to bond with my children in a way that no one else can and then…then what? Are there any working mothers or fathers out there who can share your experiences with these fears? I know that it has been done because people have kids all the time and somehow manage to work to provide for the family.

Please post your comments below. I know that I can’t be the only one with these fears. Or, perhaps I am.