I know that it is a little late, but I wanted to write a Father's Day post.
First, I want to say that I love my dad. I am seen as very independent but somewhere inside, I know that I was and probably still am a Daddy's Girl. My dad was born into the military. His dad, my Papa was in the military and my dad followed. He is an amazing human being, though he has made his share of mistakes. He has taught me many things and still teaches me many things.
I remember reading, throwing the ball around the yard (and in the house). I remember studying but still finding time to have fun (something I wish I remembered how to do in High School and College). He is intelligent and creative. He would build things with his hands and they were beautiful. Once, he recycled our old, wooden bed-frame, to create a ball target for pitching when my brother, Chris, was interested in Baseball. He built this really cool mantle piece that you could take the lid off and hide things. Our bookshelves were made by him.
If he didn't know how to make or fix something, he didn't go in blind. We didn't have interenet back then and even if we did, it wasn't that fast and any time someone called it went out. Do you remember those days? He took classes at Lowes. While my brother and I made terrible attempts at building bird houses, my dad was learning how to fix the plumbing, peel the horrible puke pink wallpaper off our bathroom wall, fix our popcorn ceiling and whatever else they offered. I didn't even know that plumbers and handy men existed because my dad was all of that.
I think I get my independence from him. I was already independent but when I saw all that he could do, I wanted to do it too. I wanted to do it all and no one was going to stop me. I know that he certainly wouldn't, he hasn't tried to stop me before.
There was a time, after the divorce, that we really drifted. There were some lies that were told to me about him, but I heard them almost every day until I believed them. He would call every chance that he got just to tell me how proud he was of me and I'm not sure why he was, to this day. As soon as I hung up, I was thrown back into a world of lies and pain. Then, the e-mails stopped. The phone calls only came once in a while and I found, much later that he was not the cause of it. But, I was mad at him and if there was anything that I ever regreted in life, it is that I couldn't tell the difference between truth and lies.
After I graduated high school, I went to his retirement. Mostly because I wanted answers and the answers I got were probably what caused a shift in the universe. My universe. I learned that he never did stop e-mailing and nither did the rest of my family. I learned that he was always and still is in my corner. I learned that I could still tell him anything and though he may tell me exactly what he thinks, he still believes in me. I learned that a father's pride is like aloe on a burn. I learned that even when it hurt to know that I didn't know, he never stopped loving me.
And when the day came, two years ago for him to walk with me he did it in a heart beat. He hadn't met Jerad before the wedding week. But he told me that I have a good head on my shoulders and if he makes me happy, go for it. He says the same thing, today about some of our choices in career, family...
I love my dad. I respect him. The way that he shows his love, the advice he gives and the example he sets for me, even still...I know I'm still his little girl and there is nothing that can change that.
I love you, Dad! Forever and Always. Thank you for always being in my corner. Even when I didn't know it. Even when it hurt that I didn't know. I'm sorry that I ever hurt you.
No comments:
Post a Comment